The wise sage, and High-Priestess of Mountain vs. Moon, Kelley Shaw drops some knowledge on how to take the time to take care of YOU. For those who don't know Kelley, she's the Owner/Operator/Curator of Mountain vs. Moon (check out her Instragram page @shopmountainvsmoon for all the goods). She has an eye for all things beautiful; a collector of rad, and rare southwest vintage finds from clothing, handbags, boots, and housewares. Several years ago, Kelley took on an incredible journey unlike any other - She follows Lakota lineage deeply, and is a very spiritual person. So, you can say that ceremony is a big part of her life, and of course, her
Read the awesome interview below.
How did you get into self-care? What was going on in your life at the time that made you seek out small ways to focus on taking care of you?
I first started recognizing the need for self care in my mid twenty’s. I would give everything away to others, and when I was totally depleted is when I would practice self care. Then as I got a littler older I realized protecting my time, and energy is self-care; so I started to practice saying “No”. I started taking note of the things that made me feel my very best and made time for them by saying no, and yes to myself more.
Did you find it easy to stick to at first? Or, was it a lot like what happens to the rest of us (by the way, still happening right now) and you would oftentimes take a sabbatical for a while and then tried really hard to back into it?
Well, I was not really taught to make myself and my needs a priority so I had to learn this behavior. I just turned 33 and it has only been in the last few years that I have made rituals of loving myself a top priority. Of course, I am still working on my havingness of it, which is connected to self-care so some days I am a beginner, and I think that's a good thing.
When did you first start to incorporate ceremony + ritual into your self-care routine? What was going on in your life at this point that made you feel so strongly about including something as ancient, and pure as ritual to your self-care regimen?
I think it started with the post it I used to have stuck to my mirror that said “ breathe and allow a gap” I turned that reminder into its own small ritual several times a day and those gaps eventually turned into opportunities to love and nurture myself. Some days the gap was only big enough to say something kind to myself like “ I am proud of myself and I am enough.” Other days I had gaps in my day for baths, reading, or planting but I always made sure to allow them big or small. It has turned into ceremony and ritual because I gave it my life force even if just for a moment.
How did incorporating ceremony change the way you look at self-care?
I think there is a great deepening that occurs when ceremony is brought to self care. A deepening of the self. A better understanding of your needs, how to give them to yourself, why you need them, and why you are important enough to make ceremony out of loving yourself.
Give us some examples of these rituals you’ve included into your self-care regimen?
Most of my self-care rituals are surrounding soaking in my tub. Sometimes that can be a whole prayer of thanking my body for supporting me, thanking the water and thanking the herbs in the water. Sometimes the ceremony includes music, sage, my drum. Sometimes it involves my very favorite bubble bath, Golden Girls re-runs and the paper. It all feels wonderful and can all be included.
Why do you think it’s so important for us women to practice basic self-care?
Most women live in an environment of role overload. We are daughters, mothers, aunts, care takers, co-workers, etc. It’s overwhelming and women spend much of their time giving it away. Not to mention women are expected to excel in every single role! I think putting your energy, time and love back into yourself is a crucial reclamation that women are not encouraged to do, so we must encourage each other to take the pieces back.
Lastly, what advice would you give to the dedicated women holding down the fort at home every damn day, but struggle to include self-care into their lives?
Start with allowing gaps. Include yourself in your internal conversation. Get your own needs on your radar. Start to consider all the reasons you deserve your attention and love. Self care starts with loving yourself enough to make your needs a priority even if all you have is a small gap in your day.
Just enough time to say to yourself “ I am proud of myself and I am enough."
SPOILER ALERT! Check this out!
Kelley and I have teamed up to host:
"How Ceremony Can Help Your Self-Care Routine Finally Stick!" workshop at the yoga studio, Friday, October 19th, 2018 from 6:00 - 8:30 pm. We'll start with traditional tea ceremony during introductions, and getting to know one another. Tea ceremonies can be seen as far back as the 9th century with Japan being the most recognized tradition. Then, we'll practice some Pranayama (breath work), gentle Yoga and end with a Chakra Meditation during Savasana. Afterward, the real nitty-gritty stuff begins; we'll discuss why we find it so difficult to take time for ourselves, we'll dive deep and discover how forgetting to take care of ourselves effects our relationships, we will go over small, simple, practical ways to start your journey into self-care, as well as go over ceremonial tools you can use to deepen your self-care regimen on a spiritual level. Lastly, we'll close with a beautiful ceremony to end our intimate workshop.
All attendees will receive an introductory ceremonial self-care box from Rite II Renew.
Wishing you health + happiness,